EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

I have learned over the years with my two preemies, that you should always expect the unexpected. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is easy. They don't do things as normal full-term infants do, even when they hit full-term status (which is this Saturday-37weeks). We got Ava home yesterday at around noon. We were SO excited to finally have our whole family home! Upon Ava's discharge, we talked about all the things we needed to know before going home. How to change her, how to put her to sleep, how to bottle her, etc. It had been brought to my attention that in the last couple days, she has had little chokes during her feedings. Not every time, and never when I fed her. The nurses just mention it if it happens. I don't think the severity had ever been brought to the doctors attention, and certainly not mine! By the time we were ready to go home, I was confident that I could take care of these little chokes because Justin was a terrible eater when he got home. He would just keep drinking and forget to ever breathe. I was assuming (because it was never mentioned) that Ava was doing something similar because the nurses didn't ever make it sound like anything more than that. Anyway, after we got home, things were going well. I fed her at 2pm and 6pm with no trouble at all. Then, at her 10pm feeding, she choked....really bad. There is nothing like having a 5 pound baby in your hands that is blue and limp (don't worry, she is fine). I got her back to pink again and she ate the rest of her bottle. This is very very common with preemies. They just don't have the coordination down very well and can choke easily. I figured she would be fine going forward but really hoped that was the only time I ever had to deal with that. It is horrible and stressful! Then, at her 2am feeding, she choked. At her 6am feeding, she choked. I was using all of the bottles, nipples, positions, everything from the hospital. I tried everything throughout the night and she just couldn't get organized enough to eat without choking. She was always awake and alert and ready to eat, just couldn't do it. I am not really an anxious person and am usually not quick to call for help but I knew we couldn't continue doing this. I wasn't going to risk her life just to keep trying. So, I called the only number I knew by heart...Special Care. I talked to the charge nurse to see if she had any recommendations for me to try. She had me talk to Ava's primary overnight nurse so we could chat about different ideas. At that point, we thought maybe it was just too soon for Ava to have gone home. I just don't have the equipment at home in case she chokes really badly nor should we have to be worrying about that at home. Ava's NP had just come in and she recommended we bring her back in. She wanted to do some labs to make sure it wasn't any other issue and also give her more time to get organized with her feedings. She clearly went home a little too early. Bummer! So, we will give her a few more days and see how she does. I remember with Justin, one day it just clicked for him and he never had trouble after that again. I also talked to the doctor and she mentioned possibly having an occupational therapist come look at Ava's bottling techniques. In Special Care (and the NICU) they only have two different types of bottling systems, Gerber and Nuk. The occupational therapist will help decide what the best bottling system is for her (they have a lot more options) and offer some other suggestions based on what they see. I am thinking it is truly just an immaturity thing, but if they can help, I'm all for it.

It has been a really hard 24 hours and it is tough to stay positive through all of this. But, I know she is in the very best place she can be and they have all the right tools in case she needs more intervention. This whole thing kind of took the wind right out of my sails but I know that as soon as she gets better at eating, we will be on our way home again. This time for good!!!